Alice in Mysteryland

Aeons ago, in a land before time, I was browsing internet forums looking for things to do in Holland. Someone mentioned 'Mysteryland' briefly and there it floated on the breath of the wind...

Fast-forward to last Saturday morning. I awoke in my usual zombified state: loping around in my underwear, eyes closed, reaching out blindly for cereal. What can I do today... today.. hmm, the 26th.. and a single thought tingled in the back of my brain. I think theres some kind of Mysteryworld.... thing. Google revealed there was indeed an event on - and if I didnt get my act together I would miss it entirely!

The rest of the morning was a blur. The only clean clothes I had were pants and a jacket - I cycled commando desperately shopping for some underwear and socks. I also tried to buy a ticket to Mysterland but it had already started at 11.00am - I was half an hour too slow. I would have to buy one at the gate.

I caught the train to Amsterdam fully-clothed (always a bonus), armed with joints and mushrooms, lots of money and a determination not to miss the biggest party of the year.

Chatting to some likely train randoms I found out they dont actually sell tickets at the gate - well not officially. Luckily there are many scalpers lurking about, and I picked up a ticket no worries. Yay! I didnt even get too badly ripped off, despite being a foreigner.

The last hurdle came right at the gate. They searched everyone for contraband and had an issue with my joints and shrooms. Apparently, while legal, they are banned from open-air parties. I argued that he was just stealing them but he said to give them up or leave. Fine, cunt. I'd come too far to get be pipped at the post, so I went on my way 'shroomless. Luckily, my train randoms saw my plight and were kind enough to supply me with fresh disco treats straight away. Eat that, Security Guard #431!


I'm not sure where to start explaining the madness that ensued. For most of it I just went back and forth from '...speechless' to 'OMFG'. Essentially, 17 stages with DJ's playing all day, motorbike ramps over lakes and flames, massive Orb shaped balls ontop of hills (with DJ's playing inside), bungee jumping from cranes (on top of aforementioned hills), and a giant crazy Castle-stage that had to be seen to be believed.


The sound systems at all the stages were incredible. At one stage I was dancing and put my hand on my throat. It was literally vibrating from the noise. I saw some great DJ's but in particular Dave Clarke. The headline act of one tent, I was thoroughly impressed. Much crazy Stu dancing was performed and I'm sorry you all missed it.

In an effort to turn FortunePalace into a veritable technological haven, here are some vids. The sound is a pretty dodgy because it was just too loud, but trust me when I say it was going off its tits:

This entry is long enough, but needless to say this was one crazy outdoor party. The best event of the year for me. And the next time 50,000 Dutch want to get off-chops, I might even have clean underwear.