How to turn your brain into Swiss cheese

Firstly apologies this blog entry was delayed. Damn elf trade unions had erected picket lines outside my office and were chanting 'Legal Marriage for Elves' and 'Die Elvaphobes - we're conscious beings too!' So yeah, for the sake of all fantasmic life-forms, please think of the little green ones.

The idea for the trip started when the LonelyPlanet guide claimed Switzerlands 'Street Parade' was the biggest street event in the world - with 500,000 people. My eyes lit up and my wallet spread her legs.

I started searching through clothes like a member of teen-girl-squad, wondering just what the hell I would wear to this occasion. Hello, what do we have in this pocket? OHSHITITSMYPASSPORT! Yes, my passport went through the wash. I panicked, called the embassy, realising they are useless pricks, I did the only thing I could - applied some much needed retail therapy.

With only 24 hours till my flight, all I could do was put on my award winning smile and "G'day mate!" attitude. Time to get patriotic. I'm Australian! We dont care for such things as mint condition passports and customs regulations. Its all "she'll be right" around these parts.

Apparently, that was enough, as I got through to Switzerland. Yay! Although I had to promise to get a new passport A.S.A.P. (which I still dont have) and marry off my eldest daughter to some Dutch officer.

Thanks to the power of MySpace (its a love/hate relationship ok...) I made some friends I was going to meet up with. I have to shoutout to them and say thanks, because if it wasnt for them I probably wouldnt have gone at all. So thanks Helena! This Swiss girl is also a keen music writer, you can check out a sample here.

So I get into the main station, Zurich Central, boom - its happening. DJ's have literally taken over the place, setting high up on a stage right next to the platforms. There is a massive crowd and people are dancing, already high. This is at 12.30pm - the parade itself starts at 3.00pm. I could tell I was in for a big day :)

We meet up and made our way through the streets - the whole place was buzzing. Every cafe had speakers out the front pumping music, waves of people going in every direction. I never imagined an event would take over the entire city like that - all the streets were cordoned off so it was car-free. It was also their national day I believe, so everyone was out and about - kids, families, and all kinds of costumes. Drag queens, girls in lingerie and high heels, gay men strutting their stuff and everything in between - quite the spectacle.

The parade itself was 32 'party trucks' each with dancers, party-goers and DJ's aboard. They ever so slowly crawled through the crowds, each with a 'moving dancefloor' behind them, as people danced along and followed their favourite sounds. We stood by and took it all in, going up to dance with stuff we liked, while watching them all go past. Rain hit for about 30 minutes, and that seperated the onlookers from the party-people. Half the crowd scurried for cover, or pulled out umbrellas (boo!) while the other half revelled in the cool water and danced maniacally. I'll give you one guess as to which group I was in :D

When all was said and done, after-parties sprung up all over the city. We caught a train to a complex called 'Rote Fabrik' (or Red Factory, for the non-germans amongst us). It was a big red-bricked.... well, factory-come-nightclub. It had a number of rooms, and we danced till we dropped circa 6am. After an entire day at the parade, I'll be the first to admit I was buggered.


Accomodation in Zurich that night was rare as hens teeth, so I just chilled out at the station and airport until my flight that afternoon. My brash 'planning is for the weak - just fly there!' attitude meant that there really wasnt time to do much sight-seeing, my flight being the awkward time that it was. But, thats life I guess (or is that just the price of spontaniety?).

After some begging and puppy dog eyes (who could resist, I ask you!), Dutch customs let me through begrudgingly. Collapsing onto bed I realised my feet were stab-wounds, my brain was cheese, and my spirit content.