To knot or not to knot?

I dont claim to be a great reader of the stars but cosmic energies must indeed be in synchronisation at the moment. As great super waves ripple down through space and slide through the Earth, the insignificant human race have no choice but to be affected. It seems reproduction is the flavour of the month, with everyone I know visiting adult stores, adult web sites or just generally being 'in the mood.'

Not unsympathetic to my fellow humans current state, this entry shall touch on a risque (yet relevant) topic. I feel in todays society although sexual freedom and expression are gradually coming to the fore, there is still too much taboo surrounding open discussion of the finer points. Today I hope to take a step towards changing that - or at least kill a few hours at work.

Now I wouldnt describe myself as sheltered, but until a year ago I readily admit I was not familar with the term Condom Knotting. The official definition as I understand it is:

Condom Knot:
a knot tied in a used condom to prevent the spillage of semen after a sexual act

At first I was kinda confused about the motive behind such an act. I mean, why would anyone touch a used condom for any longer than they had to? If touching used condoms was all the rage then I'm sure more people would frequent playgrounds in Footscray. Apart from those with a bad latex fetish, I thought the general consensus would be that the quicker this necessary evil is disposed of the better.

Now proponents of the knot claim the utility of the knot is vital - after all, *who wants love juice to go flying everywhere after the excitement has all but ended? I can only speak from my own experiences here, but after certain events which lead to a full condom, I dont exactly go waving it above my head like a rabid soccer fan on speed. I dont collect three of them so I can try to juggle them. I dont stretch them over my thumb and flick them at my partner(s) for fun. In fact, theres not really any activities I'd perform with a used condom that would be so dangerously associated with spillage. The question is... do we really need the knot?

I decided to continue my investigation. Surely there must be some information out there. I wouldnt let this issue rest. After overhearing a friend admit they read the instructions on a box of condoms once (and recomposing after the laughter that ensued - I mean, the idea of a love sock isnt rocket science) I figured it could actually be a valuable source of information. Was it possible that latex companies were giving us useful instructions and I'd merely chose to ignore them? Below are my findings:

As you can see, no knotting is suggested nor referenced anywhere. Not to say it shouldnt be. Those rebel explorers might just have stumbled upon a piece of knowledge worth mentioning to the Durex execs.

After surveying of friends, associates and randoms, I found some more interesting info. Perhaps even stronger than the appeal of stain-free sheets is the lack of disruption knotting provides. A quick knot and you can be back in your partners arms, content to leave the clean up for later while you rest togeter. Compare this to getting up to dispose of the article properly. You shouldn't be surprised how uttering something like "hang on honey, just gotta get rid of this disgusting cum bag before it spills on your carpet" can ruin those enjoyable floaty after-moments.

Some of you have been probably been happily reproducing in ignorance of this dilemma. And no doubt a few of you will crawl back under your rocks and continue to do it that way. Others might decide this issue warrants further investigation, for only pigs willingly live in their own mess. A few readers will be seasoned knotters and will continue this domestic latex origami. For the boy scouts who come prepared (no pun intended) they might have a box of tissues on hand thus reducing the need to earn this particular knotting badge.

I'm knot here to judge nor preach to anyone. The decision on what to do is individual and probably pretty circumstantial anyways. The real lesson here kids is to play safe. And to spend your office hours thinking about it.

*that was a rhetorical question - bukkake fans are encouraged to keep their answers to themselves